A Year in Review: Becoming a Mom {Jackson}

Nothing can prepare you for what’s to come once you give birth to your first child. It’s kind of an odd experience when they place your baby on your chest and you’re {finally} face to face with the little being that has been growing inside you all those months. You lock eyes in disbelief and say to yourself, ‘I’m going to love this child with all my heart, all of my days.’

My first year of motherhood has been full of ups and downs. There are things I expected would happen and things I could possibly not have anticipated. I think we go into this experience taking into account how we were raised and what we’d like to do the same and what we’d like to do differently than our parents and go from there.

The beginning is such a blur. If I didn’t have pictures documenting practically every day of “newbornhood” I’m not quite sure I’d remember it. But, what I’ll never forget is the quiet fidgeting that Jackson did when I held him on my lap or on my chest. How he would just look out in awe of everything around him and how I’d stare back in the same way. I could be running on 2 hours of sleep and if he’d wake up I’d be excited to see what the day {or next couple of hours} brought. This still rings true today as we approach his first birthday. Each morning, I go into his room and he has that same look in his eyes, but he’s usually jumping across his crib and scaling the side of the crib railing trying to reach me {I’m just as excited to reach him}.

I look at work and my career differently too. I always said, “I’ll never quit working and be a stay at home mom. I just couldn’t do it.” I still hold strong with not being able to be a SAHM {you gals deserve a trophy or a bottle of wine, forever, lifetime supply of wine} but, I think about my time differently. What do I want to devote my time doing and how much time is that going to take away from my family? Outside of working hours {say between 4:30-7:30 pm} do I want to work late on something that will take time away from those 3 precious hours I have to spend with Jackson before he goes to bed. Nope. Do I want to give up weekends to work when those are the only days I get to see him from sun up to sun down? Nope. I save almost everything that has to be done in the evening for after he goes to bed. When thinking of anything in the future, I think about how it will affect him and us as a family first.

I’m reassured by the fact that everyone is going with the flow. I try to stay calm because I know if I’m anxious, Jackson will pick up on it. I try to be present. I try not to go crazy by googling every possible symptom when he’s not feeling well. But, I trust my instincts if something doesn’t feel right.

As we approach Jackson’s first birthday, I can’t believe I’m here. I thought it’d be much messier and crazier than it has been. I think it’s like everything in life, we adapt. We figure out ways to make things work for us and adapt.

If you’re a new mom, about to be a mom, or have children that are grown with children of their own now, just know, it will all work itself out. If you feel stressed beyond belief, take some deep breaths and know it’s going to be okay. Talk to some gal pals {tell them just to listen, you don’t want advice, but more, reassurance} or take a walk outside and notice the beauty in nature. If you’re about to become a mom {congrats}, get ready for one of the greatest love stories of your life {sorry hubby}. If you’ve been there and done that with the kiddos {congrats also}, offer a helping hand to a mom who might need a moment to herself. Talk about a time where you struggled and how you persevered.

I’m crying as I’m typing this because the most important, rewarding, inspiring and hardest job in the world is being a mom… and a year ago, I got the job!

Photo credit: Ashley Midura @ One Love Creative, http://onelovecreative.zenfolio.com/