Can you see it?
Just over the horizon, New Year’s is right within reach. And although I have heard the quote “2020 is an absolute dumpster fire” more times than I can count, I have also found blessings along the quarantined path. Am I excited to see what 2021 will bring? Yes, I sure am. Am I also scared as can be to see what other wretched things may be just over the mountain top? You bet your sweet backside I am. So that brings me back to today and thoughts of New Years’ past.
For years, I stood by the belief that I needed to make a New Year’s Resolution.
I thought that if I spoke something out into the world, that it would magically make it happen or at least give me the gumption to follow through. Guess what, that’s not how it works. Also, most resolutions tend to be some big, grandiose idea that ends up becoming more daunting than rewarding.
This is where I found myself. For so many years, I was making resolutions of what in the short term were really just unattainable tasks. What I really needed to do was look at what I thought needed to change and think of the small steps that could help me get to the finish line. And instead of putting that pressure on January 1st, spread those tiny changes throughout the year. Sadly, year after year unmet resolutions led me to feelings of inadequacy.
It took over a decade of adulthood to realize that I wasn’t a failure for not sticking by my resolution. In that same era of my life, I grew so much more as a person than I ever thought imaginable. I had to start looking at my accomplishments throughout the years and not what I didn’t stick with each January. As soon as I started focusing on the things that I was making happen and not the things that I wasn’t, my whole attitude started to shift. I no longer was the girl that was depressed and felt like she wasn’t good enough. No, I became the woman who knew her worth and felt powerful.
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” -Forrest Gump
I could sit here and say that the movie quote is just as wrong as it is right. No, life is not a box of sweetness that will always put a smile on your face. But it is definitely a grab bag that will sometimes be the highlights of your lifetime and with the next “bite” be the absolute worst. So instead of setting yourself up for the belief that if you don’t stick to a New Year’s Resolution that there is something wrong with you, believe in yourself and all that you have already fulfilled in your life. There is nothing wrong in hoping for the goodness yet to come, but also preparing for the possibilities that it won’t be quite what you expect. And that sometimes, things just might be out of your control.
Before I go, this is my advice to you:
- If you really want to make a resolution, by all means, do it.
- But if you make a resolution and don’t reach that goal, don’t beat yourself up over it.
- Find attainable goals and reach for them, just don’t put a timeline or a label on them.
- Remind yourself that you are only human and have imperfections.
- And lastly, love yourself and believe that you are worthy of everything in life.
Do you make resolutions? Do you find that you attain them? Or maybe you have sworn off resolutions as I have. Drop your thoughts in the comments down below.
