I vaguely remember a time when silence meant peaceful relaxation, a comfort of sorts, a time when the world either needed nothing from me or my responsibilities were able to be ignored. There was something so magical about being able to collect my thoughts and listen to my soul. How did something so precious become the enemy? Silence, in my home now… silence generally means impending disaster.
I am by no means an inexperienced mom. I have many years of childcare work under my belt. However, nothing prepared me for having preschool-aged children and a newborn. No one told me my innocent and independent older kids would become mischievous little thieves. Every opportunity to steal my sanity, they seemed to take.
Nursing a baby is exhausting in itself. Every hour or so, this tiny human demanded to be attached to me. For the first six weeks, he really didn’t tolerate anyone but me. As much as I loved nursing in the checkout line of the grocery store or while at the bus stop, I much prefer a comfy seated position. Boy, did the “three-nager” and his sister take advantage.
Back to that silence thing. I would sit and nurse. I would try to get the kids to do some coloring or have something on TV for them. You would think this would be a good distraction. Tell that to the Sharpie on my walls, the baking ingredients that filled my vacuum canister twice, or the makeup that disappeared into thin air. Silence = disaster.
Outside of the mess making skills, I was also in the throes of potty training. He was having no accidents at his dad’s house for a full month before he did anything for me. Bribes, nope. Stickers, nope. Sheer begging, nope. He refused. He would literally lock eyes with me and pee his pants as soon as I put underwear on him. It was brutal.
Now the baby is 3 months old. Nursing is still a thing, I just go longer stretches without being needed. A couple of baby gates now imprison- I mean- protect the children from themselves and the kitchen from their poor choices. I survived Christmas break with very minimal disasters. We are all adjusting and becoming happier as our co-parenting and step-parenting family dynamics becomes our new normal.
We have so much love and all the trials have been worth it. The kids love their “cute baby”. When you’re in the throes of adjustment it is hard, but it eventually just becomes second nature.
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