Recently I attended a college, Division 3 lacrosse game for my little brother and I was appalled by the behavior of the parents.
Screaming. Cursing. Threatening referees and players of the opposing team.
Yes, grown adults were yelling threats at college players on the opposing team. I wish I could say this was just the parents of this one team. Or, that this was the first time I have witnessed such behavior, but it is not.
My little brother was born when I was 14 years old, so I have had a different view of his experiences growing up. A much older sister, who was sometimes confused as his Mom or aunt. When he started playing competitive, team sports I was around 20 years old.
I’ll never forget- at one of his baseball games, he couldn’t have been more than 8 years old, the coach of the opposing team yelled at a player who was at bat. He said, “Your father isn’t here to yell at you, but I am.” And then went on to tell him what he was doing wrong. My mother and I sat with our jaws hanging open at the remarks, and this went on for the remainder of the game.
Does screaming and belittling kids from the sideline produce the results these adults are looking for?
Here are a few things that crossed my mind during both of these instances:
- Depending on the field/stadium, your kid or the referee probably can’t hear what you are even saying. So ya know what happens, everyone in the stands with you just hears your ridiculousness and you look like a moron. Yup. You.
- You become the person at games that people don’t want to sit with and despise. Is that what you’re going for?
- Don’t agree with the ref? Most refs aren’t pulling in tons of cash to work the games you attend, and most of the time they are on a weekend. I’m sure they are spending their free time to call plays just to piss you off. Also, the referees need to have experience playing the games they are refereeing, so… Mom, who has never played Men’s Lacrosse at a college level, I’m going to go with the referee on the call he made instead of what you think the call should have been. Sit down.
- Make a little observation when you go on a tirade at the tee ball field. When you scream at your child (or any child) to follow through on the swing or keep your eye on the ball, or whatever nonsense you’re spewing, does that demand make your child actually do what you’re saying? I’m gonna go with a resounding NO.
- Have you ever thought about how your actions are making your child feel? The first feeling is probably embarrassment, especially if they’re older and actually get how absurd your antics are. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally against the every-kid-gets-a-trophy mentality of kids sports, but I am very FOR supporting a child’s self-esteem and self-worth.
Ok, so those are just a few things that cross my mind as parents are attending their children’s sporting events and acting like straight up fools. I would hope that the majority of the population is also thinking these things, but I could be wrong.
If you are a parent, aunt, uncle, friend, or whoever attending a kid’s sporting event, first… that’s awesome. Kids definitely notice if you go to their games AND if you’re present (i.e. not just sitting on your phone the whole time).
“Sorry, I missed your home run. I was looking at pics of Karen’s kids’ baseball game on Facebook.”
Keep your cool. I know… I know… watching 8-year-olds play basketball/baseball/football/insert-activity-here is sometimes frustrating. However, remember that they’re just that, 8-year-olds. Even if they’re college kids playing lacrosse, it’s a game and it’s easy to make judgments from the stands when it’s not you playing.
Finally, if you are so invested in your child’s sport that you are experiencing bouts of anger and losing your sh*t on kids playing said sport, take a moment and realize your days of playing that sport are over. You missed your moment, or your moment has come and gone. And like, go to the gym or sign up for adult co-ed sports like other people do that still want to be in organized sports.
But, definitely, shut your mouth and let the kids play and be kids.
