My Two Cents: One Mom’s Reaction to Sexual Assault

Recently I turned on the news and saw the headlines swirling again about yet another white privileged man who doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself. It got me wondering what the hell is wrong with our society? Why is it OK for men not to take no as an answer? Why do we judge victims and try to rationalize their pain away? Instead of being angry and dishing out consequences to male abusers, there are people threatening the lives of these assault victims, and questioning their credibility because they waited to tell their stories.

In a thoroughly disgusting show, Brett Kavanaugh was allowed to blubber hysterically during a hearing, which was essentially his job interview. His supporters swear it’s because he has done nothing wrong. Liberals have it all wrong. His explosive behavior is fine.

If Dr. Ford had done the same thing during her statement she would been discredited because she is a woman. Women can’t be too emotional. If they let their emotions get the best of them, they are more often than not seen as incompetent, vulnerable and weak. Incompetent people might not be able to recall what actually happened to them.

The last time I checked sexual assault is a traumatic experience for victims, but that doesn’t matter here unfortunately. Some women don’t even remember their assaults until years later. There is no expiration date on the pain that is inflicted during these assaults. The effects of a single sexual assault can haunt a woman for a lifetime.

Sexual abuse and the attitude that men are entitled to women’s bodies should provoke outrage at the abuser, not at the women who are suffering the abuse. Do you know what causes sexual assault? Skimpy clothing? No. Promiscuity? Nope. A girl getting too drunk? Hell no. MEN. Men are the cause of sexual assault and they need to be held accountable.

We need to be sending a message to our daughters that their bodies are theirs to do with as they choose. They are not for men to do with as they please. We need to send a message to our sons that respecting a woman is important. We need to teach them about consent. We need to get rid of the “boys will be boys” attitude that is, essentially, giving boys permission to be predators.

Most importantly, we need to be more sensitive to our sisters who are suffering through these horrific experiences in silence because they are too scared to share their torment. As women, we should be a safe haven for each other in the storm of life. We need to be lifting each other up during these struggles instead of tearing each other down.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, you are not alone. If you need resources, support or information you can contact your local YMCA or the national sexual assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. If you are in immediate danger please call 911 or your local emergency number.