Self-worth, confidence, self-esteem; whatever you call it- for some reason, in young girls and grown women alike, it seems to be lacking. How can we raise and support females to become strong, confident women?
If we go back to when a mother is pregnant, there is a different excitement when people find out the gender of the baby is a girl. Why? Because the clothes are so much cuter, the room can be frilly and girly, because it’s just more fun. *Cue “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” playing in my head.* And then the little baby girl is born and it’s all about her being cute and adorable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s somewhat like this for boy babies too. They’re all cute and snuggly, but we have to go back to this point to see where it starts.
Then they’re toddlers, learning to talk and showing their personality. If the little lady is outspoken or rambunctious, she’s considered sassy. This is where it begins…
From here on out, little girls are taught to dial it down, hold back, keep that opinion or thought to yourself. We use words to describe them like: pretty, cute, and adorable. What would happen if, instead, we used the words: kind, happy, strong, cool, clever and smart?
Did you know that women account for 28% of jobs in STEM fields? The fields with the highest percentages of women are elementary/middle school teachers, nurses, and secretaries. Are women not pursuing male-dominated fields (or just now starting to pursue them) because we have conditioned them to be pretty, cute and adorable, instead of strong, clever and smart?
Also, to clarify my point, I’m not saying teachers, nurses and secretaries are not strong, clever or smart. Women have dominated these fields since entering the workforce and they now have more advanced degrees, without the jobs that go along with them.
How can we encourage the young women around us to not only have a positive sense of self but to reach their potential in a world that teaches them to maintain the status quo?
We can do this with our words and actions. Teach young women what is acceptable from peers and adults and what is not.
When I started writing this, my intention was to talk more about how the young women I work with daily accept being treated like crap from friends and boyfriends, but after really thinking about how this starts to manifest it led me in a different direction. A woman’s self-worth, or lack thereof, can affect her personal and professional life. If you are working towards a job in the STEM field or a college program, and your confidence is low, how can you remain competitive? If you are constantly questioning yourself, how will you stand amongst the competition?
How can we begin to help young women develop a positive sense of self? We can start by reinforcing that it’s okay to have high expectations and to hold others accountable for their actions or how they make them feel. This would help them see who and what is acceptable, and worthy of their time.
If we add “smart and strong” to “pretty and cute” our daughters and nieces will have confidence and self-esteem to be successful in male-dominated fields and social situations with peers. There’s nothing wrong with a sassy toddler, she could be leading a team of engineers one day. Let’s start focusing on the characteristics she embodies instead of the cuteness.
