*This post is about mental health and covers topics including domestic violence, suicide, self-harm, trauma, depression, and anxiety. It may be triggering for some.
If you haven’t yet read part 1 of Carrie’s story, you can do so here.
So, of course, what do you do when you’re almost feeling normal? You have another baby.
I panicked when I found out I was pregnant again. The one time we didn’t use protection! We decided to see what would happen (oh goody) that was a bad idea because I got pregnant.
Of course, I panicked and then went off my Lexapro because I was afraid of the side effects it might have on the baby. I met with my psychiatrist, a geneticist, and the high-risk OB doctor. We all decided that I should stay on it for my mental well-being because the effects of my anxiety and depression unmedicated on the baby would probably be worse than the possible side effects that might happen from taking Lexapro. They determined it was a very low-risk medication as far as being transmitted to the baby.
By the time baby number three was born, I was doing really well mentally.
I was in a much better place than I was after having my older two. Baby three didn’t display any side effects from me being on the medication. I enjoyed my maternity leave and did not feel like I was in a panic or couldn’t leave the house.
That was three years ago. Since then, my mental health has been fairly stable.
I want to make it clear that even though I do take medication to stabilize my mood, that it is not a cure-all. I still get sad, mad, irritated, angry, and feel all the emotions. And I am not a drugged zombie. I am just more level-headed, and I’m able to use my coping skills and not fall into an isolative state or panic attack.
I still feel panic attacks coming on. Though now I am able to talk myself down. My friends and husband all understand my mental health more, and we all have pretty open conversations about mental health.
My best friends and I realize we struggle a lot with the same issues but never talked about it. Why? Because mental health just isn’t talked about.
Last month I had to switch my medications from Lexapro to Celexa to treat my fibromyalgia and mental health diagnoses. Let me tell you, those two weeks of switching medications were hell. I was irritated, angry, I would fly off the handle, I would just want to cry and I didn’t want to spend time with anybody. I was in the dark, dark place again. Since my medication stabilized, I feel great and I haven’t had any issues.
I don’t understand why there aren’t any mental health classes that you have to take in school. Why is it not talked about?
We talk about STDs. We talk about cancer. And we talk about cold, flu, covid, chickenpox, measles, and mumps. Yet nothing about depression and anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality, narcissistic personality disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, suicide, postpartum psychosis, depression, and anxiety.
Why do we not make mental health check-ins every six months with physicals or dental appointments? When you’re meeting with your school counselors, why don’t we do a mental health check-in?
If someone is flagged as having a trauma history, why can’t we link them with mental health providers? Why do we wait until someone is cutting or doing other destructive behaviors or even attempting suicide to realize they may have needed help.
I have lost my cousin to suicide, and I don’t think we even talked about suicide as a family until that happened.
I’ll never understand why there are no mental health check-ups when you leave the hospital with the baby, or when you return for baby well checks. Yes, they have the paper with questions, but everyone fills it out with the answers they know someone wants to hear. I don’t understand why there isn’t any information given to new mothers about postpartum depression and anxiety, or even psychosis. And also why is this info not given to their partners or family support? Because the partners or family are going to be with them on a semi-regular basis.
If you don’t feel like you are getting the right mental health treatment, advocate for yourself or ask someone to advocate for you. You have the right to individual therapy. You have the right to see a psychiatrist. And you have the right to change providers if you don’t like your therapist. You have a choice in your mental health treatment.
If you missed Part 1 of One Mom’s Mental Health Journey, you can find it here.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, please use the resources below:
National Alliance on Mental Illness