I don’t know about everyone reading, but the month of August has been both fun and exhausting. I have loved spending everyday home with my two girls (ages 7 and 4). I am a teacher, and I truly appreciate the days and time I get home with my girls in the summer. However, in the past two weeks or so, I have been SO ready for them to go back to school. They were constantly fighting, constantly bored, and had an insatiable hunger for snacks! I also haven’t had much time to myself, so I know my patience has been thin. But, the funny thing about parenting and being a mom is that it hit me today, the day before I go back to work, that I actually HAVE to leave them. And, cue a crying mama.
I feel like these mixed feelings of exhaustion, frustration, happiness and sadness, really sum up parenting. For example, I’ll be dying to get out of the house and get a mani/pedi, but when I leave the girls, I am sad and I miss them while I’m gone. Being a mom is a tricky thing: you want to pull your hair out while you’re with them, but when you are away from them, you miss them like crazy.
Logically I know that school starting is good for the girls, and for me. They will get back into a routine, make friends, learn new things, and I will get back into my own groove, but it breaks my heart a little to see them grow. My heart aches knowing that they are nervous for their first day, their new teacher, new classmates…and I have to let go and hope that they figure it out once again. It’s so difficult to feel your child’s anxiousness and not be able to do much but simply encourage them to overcome it. This parenting stuff is heavy!
Well, fast forward to the end of my first day back at work and my youngest’s first day of pre-K… I’m still exhausted, but I’m feeling ready to embrace the new year. My 4 year old, Colette, had a great day at school and my older daughter, Lina, is even more excited to start 2nd grade. I am sad to see them grow but happy to witness them flourish.
As I looked through my Facebook newsfeed that day and saw all the beautiful children starting their first day, I felt contented. I noticed how my friend’s children have grown and suddenly felt at peace with the anxiousness that a new school year can bring. I know this rollercoaster of emotions will only become greater as my children grow up. Everyone always says, bigger kids, bigger problems. So, I am going to try to sit back and soak up each day of this school year. I’m going to try and embrace the hectic schedules and in the midst of all the running around, try not to miss their small milestones as they learn and mature.
