The Rut We Found Ourselves In
Summers at our house for the past 8 years have pretty much looked the same. For the biggest part of the summer my husband would be working 50/60+ hours a week and I would be at home with our kids. I say 8 years as that was my first summer as a “Stay at Home Mom” with my blessings. That first summer I dove right in to being “that mom”. The one who agrees to any favor she is asked to do. The one that said yes to every party invitation that her children received. The mom who prioritized everyone above herself. But this isn’t about any of those previous summers. This is the story of this summer and how our family slowed the days down and enjoyed just being us. And in turn, I was able to really focus on the life that was bestowed on me.
Big Changes
So the absolute biggest change this summer from years past – my husband is now retired. It still feels a bit odd saying that. After 28 and a half years in law enforcement, he finally hung up his Kevlar. Many people told me that we would be driving each other nuts within weeks, if not days of his retirement. I continued to tell them that they were wrong, but in the back of my mind I have to say I wondered if they were right.
Less than a week after my husband’s retirement was official, I inadvertently started subbing 30+ hours a week. Originally, subbing was just going to be an “as needed” thing. What everyone failed to mention was that during cold and flu season, subbing can be a full-time job. Then like a perfectly wrapped Christmas present, an instructional aide position became available at our preschool, so I applied. And guess what? I got the job.
Finally Being Together 24/7
So we finally reached that being-together-around-the-clock point the last week of May. That’s when I was going to be faced with the “will we drive each other crazy” notion. I’m not going to lie, I was a little afraid. Like the lyrics to the Fresh Prince theme song, our lives “got flipped-turned upside down”. So what did I learn those first few weeks of summer? That my initial response was right and the naysayers were wrong. I have absolutely adored getting the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband this summer. As summer comes to a close, I have realized that I have taken quite a stock of our lives together.
Reminiscing in the Past
That first year was filled with quiet dinners and being a family of three (my husband proudly took on the role of bonus dad to my son). It was also a time when we could take a trip just the two of us when my little man was visiting with his father. It was a time for talking about the future and what we both thought it would look like. The following summers were filled with adding new souls to our family and watching them hit their milestones. Each memory is something that I will forever cherish.
Enjoying the Present with my Blessings
As I sit back and admire the life we have built, I can’t help but to feel blessed. I know some readers may be over my completely sappy post, but I really am in awe of my life. I have 4 beautiful children and someone that I trust with my whole heart to never break it. Our oldest has graduated high school and moved off to college. We spent the bulk of the summer enjoying slow days at home, but we did take the little people in our lives on a few quick trips. I can’t think of a better way to have the day pass by than to watch my husband and kids splashing in the pool on sunny summer afternoons. And just like every other family, there are ups and downs to the days. However, I chose to embrace the positive and learn from the negative.
Looking forward to the Future with my Blessings
With our family forever evolving, I find myself daydreaming about what our future may look like. I see many more slow summer days peppered with trips to new destinations. I see our little people growing into big people. I see more school dances, graduations, college applications and meeting milestones in our future. But most importantly, I see the fact that we will all be doing it together.
Life is What You Make of It
It always has been and always will be. You can choose to focus on the negative and in return you will have a negative life. Or you can decide to focus on the positive and you will soon realize just how positive your life has been all along. Is my husband perfect? You bet your bottom dollar that he is not. But do you know something? Neither am I. But I can also promise you this, he is perfect for me. We made a conscious effort this summer to make each other the priority and it has rewarded us a million times over.
When you get married, your loyalty, first and foremost, is to your spouse, and to the family that you create together.
-Phil McGraw
Like me, have you had any realizations this summer? Have you experienced any life defining moments? What were they? If you would like to share, drop your thoughts in the comment section below.
