My daughter was eight months old when we purged and packed up our lives to live on the road. She slept like crap, nursed very regularly and I was still deep in the throes of figuring out what motherhood meant for me.
What kind of mother did I want to be?
Obviously a good one (don’t we all). But at that point in time, the point where my life was changing in so many ways, I wasn’t actively seeking anything other than doing my best and surviving.
I have never read about the minimalism lifestyle. I never set out to become a minimalist or master it. I do like the color white, but the thought of a stark home with zero personality just doesn’t do it for me.
Minimalism was a byproduct of a lifestyle choice. If I wanted to travel in less than three hundred square feet and then less than one hundred. I simply couldn’t have everything. I could barely have anything. I became a minimalist by necessity and it turned out to be an unexpected perk of my traveling ways. It changed me and it shaped my motherhood.
I have never read any books on motherhood – although I have dabbled quite a bit in reading blog posts. Not necessarily for a ‘how to,’ but more as a reminder to myself that motherhood takes different shapes and comes in different sizes. There is no one-size-fits-all.
Slowly over time, I came out of the fog of transition, both to motherhood and to life on the road. And one day I found myself genuinely happy–at home in my minimalism and in my motherhood. Looking back, I can see how my forced minimalism has shaped me as a mother. At the moment I just unconsciously allowed it to happen.
Our lack of physical space necessitated only a small number of toys (to the disappointment of all the grandparents). It allowed me to witness how little is truly needed to occupy a child. Even better how having little increased imaginative play. And when nothing is required to play but your imagination, boredom isn’t something that needs to be contended with.
Our lack of indoor playing space forced us outside more often than not; growing my comfort level with the outdoors and soaking in the healing and educational power of nature. When we are outside it is like a reset for our souls.
The less time I spent cleaning the more time I had to spend with my family, and on myself. Most days I cleaned nothing more than the dishes we used. I didn’t have to fit the things my family and I enjoyed doing in the in-between time.
My mind was free of the clutter of a constant to-do list and obligations. I learned to be intentional with my time and with my space. In minimalism, I had discovered and grown to live daily by my values, by my family’s values.
Now when we have times when more toys seep into our lives I can see the contrast. I can see how my daughter has a tendency to bounce from one thing to the next instead of spending an hour (or even hours) doing one particular thing. I can see how after bouncing around from one thing to the next she becomes more overwhelmed with the mess and suddenly “too tired” to clean up after herself. And I know it’s time to purge. To get back to creative play, art, and books.
Now when we are spending time at our cabin and my homebody tendencies emerge I start to slowly find myself getting more frustrated at small things. I know we need to be getting outside more. To hike, to explore, to admire mother nature. Now when we are visiting family or getting caught up with “to-do’s” at our cabin I can recognize my increased sluggishness. I can see my daughter starting to have meltdowns and my husband’s crabbiness for what it really is. I know we need to reassess how we are spending our time and what is important. I need to make sure we are getting back to our values.
Without minimalism, I don’t know what my motherhood would end up looking like. To me, minimalism is more than just konmari -ing your life or design esthetics. It is about figuring out the things that you value in life and making a point to focus on those things. It is reducing things in your life that don’t support them. Kind of like motherhood, when you think about it. Motherhood isn’t about what looks good on the outside or a set of rules to follow. It’s about your values.
