7 Things I’ve Learned about Parenting (and myself), as my daughter turns 7…
My first born baby turned 7 years old on January 13th. It is only fitting that I reflect, specifically on her “lucky” number 7 birthday, as she was born on a Friday, the 13th. I’ve learned a lot about parenting between my two daughters. However, there is something about that first born and all the “first” experiences as a mom, that have made me really reflect on my experiences and what I’ve been able to take from them.
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Was my daughter supposed to wear “spirit wear” to school tomorrow? Was that permission slip due? No matter the dilemma, things end up working out. Either your child gets over it or the teacher (who seems to know a lot of us will forget) sends out that last minute reminder. Or, how about running the vacuum today or washing every single dish? It’ll get done…don’t feel like your house has to be spotless at all times (and if your house is…what’s your secret?). Bottom line, these are all small things that will be okay in the end.
2. Decide what makes your family happy and don’t compare to others.
For example, my husband and I have no desire to travel the world with our children. Yes, there are trips we want to experience with them (like Disney), but we are perfectly content heading to the Jersey shore every summer. We know people who like to plan big trips every year, and THAT’S OKAY. It’s okay to like to do different things. Just because people enjoy different things, doesn’t make one thing better than the other.
3. On that note… if it’s not fun, we aren’t doing it.
I have to let go of that mommy guilt. If there’s a birthday party, family party or anything that just won’t work without being extremely stressful, then count us out. At the end of the day, it’s not worth it and there will always be more events to attend.
4. Forget all the times you said, “When I’m a parent, I’ll never _____”
Okay, you fill in the blank. I think that one is self-explanatory. If you’re a parent, you know why.
5. Voice when YOU need something.
I’ve seen a lot of new year posts mentioning “self-care” and that is exactly what I’m referring to. If you neglect yourself and your wants and needs, then that’s not good for anyone in your family. I’ve learned to simply speak up and tell my husband I need a break or just get myself a babysitter so I can go to the store alone. If I’m fulfilled in other areas of my life (a.k.a my non-mom life) then I am a better mother, wife, and friend. Everyone wins.
6. Not every meal has to be 100% nutritious.
I mean, even a happy meal comes with apple slices, right? As long as your kids are fed, that’s all that really matters. Some nights you may be able to kill it and make something both delicious and nutritious, but other nights you might be overwhelmed. It’s okay to throw in a frozen pizza, run through a drive-thru, or call in take out. Don’t beat yourself up.
7. Finally… and really what sums up all of the above…Sometimes it’s just about survival.
Our children don’t notice what we think are catastrophic disasters. We have to just make the best of situations and not be deterred if things don’t go our way.
So, call in that pizza, stay home from that party that’s 2 hours away, take a family trip to Italy… or don’t. The bottom line is that there aren’t any steadfast rules and we need to stop making ourselves believe that there are. Do you mama… because no matter how you are doing it, you are killing it!
