Lessons Learned: When Your Baby Gets Sick for the 1st Time

I don’t know about you, but when I get sick I am a big fat baby and want no one else but my mom. So what happens when you ARE the mom and have no clue how to help your sick child?  Until a few weeks ago, I didn’t know. I’m grateful my kid finally got sick, like, antibiotics-needed sick, because not only do I need to know what to do to care for him but I need to have the FULL torturous sick child experience to get my momming black belt! To you ninja mother’s out there (those of you working on your second and third degree black belt), this blog post may seem silly or redundant but for us newbies this info is good to tuck away in our mommy memory banks.  And, I’ll tell you now… If it weren’t for my “ninja” mommy friends, this whole experience would have been quite a bit more dramatic for my little family.

We have been fairly fortunate, in our short 2 years as parents, regarding illness in our family. Dealing with only a few fevers (two to be exact) here and there, usually associated with teething or just one of those phantom ones that stick around 2 days and then clear up.

That is, until now.

We were rendered helpless by an ear infection and the dreaded strep throat. You see, my son is not a whiny child. He doesn’t complain about minor aches or scrapes and did not complain about his ear or his throat. Had he tugged at his ear or cried and pointed to his throat we most likely would not have suffered as long as we did. I say “we” in this case because, honey, I was up with him every squirming, miserable step of the way.

I know, I know, this is what mothers do, but y’all, this was the WORST (to this point) and it almost broke me. Lesson #1 being a mom of a sick child is lonely and helpless! No one comes around and you can’t go anywhere, the only human contact you get is a text here or there and the heartfelt attempts of help from your hubby when he gets home from work. I wasn’t surprised by my feeling inadequacy but almost taken aback at my feelings of loneliness. That being said, back to the adventure.

We have always- I say this as if we’re pros- followed the “three-days-unless” rule when dealing with fevers:

• go to doctor if fever lasts longer than 3 days unless it gets over 104, then go to ER
• alternate tylenol and motrin every 4 hours to help alleviate some of the discomfort
• push fluids

And this system worked, until it didn’t. By 3 a.m. starting day 3, I was beyond ready to wake my husband and go to the ER. Nothing was working. With meds, Noah’s fever was 103, and by this time I was running on *maybe* 90 minutes of sleep the past 72 hours… so my emotions were running high and logic was non existent.

Somehow I talked myself off the ledge, we made it through the night and as soon as I could,  I made him a doctor’s appointment for 11:45 that same morning. Lesson #2, use your mommy gut and take your kid to the doctor if there is no fever break in 48 hours and you KNOW in that same mommy gut it’s not a fleeting fever. We got to the doctor’s office, she checked his ears and throat and gave her diagnosis: severe ear infection in left ear and strep throat. She wrote the script for the meds and sent us on our way. Now, I thought this was the answer I was needing (according to a mommy ninja the meds would have him feeling better in “no time”) I’m here to tell you, that’s not always how it works.  

For us, “no time” = 3 more days of a grumpy, tired, sad sick little boy. Granted, sleep was easier to come by since the meds helped with the fever within the first 8 hours or so. Lesson #3 antibiotics may be magical but they’re not instant miracles. Lesson #4, when your kids’ doctor asks how you and your hubby are feeling don’t just respond with “we’re fine”. Take a moment and assess how you’re really feeling. Had I, she probably would have sent in a script for us as well. Since I did NOT I ended up in the clinic, 3 days after taking my son, with a double ear infection. Now, I don’t *necessarily* blame my kid for giving me and my husband (aka child #2 when he’s sick) the crud, but I absolutely blame the sleep deprivation caused by this sickness.

At this point, I had nothing left to give to care for my husband and I tell ya, I felt a little guilty for a moment. Then I heard another ninja mommy’s voice telling me, “You’re not his mom.”

Lesson #5, when you’re sick and caring for your own sick child let that mom guilt go and realize the other adult in the house can fend for himself (sick or not). Somehow, we get it stuck in our heads that we HAVE to be wonder mom and wife.

So here we are, three weeks later. All still alive (YAY)! Noah is done with meds and doing well, hubby is also well, and I’m on the mend. I had to go back to the doctor for different meds because what they gave me originally didn’t do anything to my infection. I will keep the lessons learned in my memory bank for when the next bout of whatever pops up and pray that it will be a fleeting, short lived, 24 hour bug because seriously, who wants to deal with the alternative?

Also, be brave. Reach out to your friends when their kids are sick. They need it more than you know. I know I will from now on.