Defeating Resentment: How I Got Hooked on Kayak Fishing

My daughter was born when I was 21-years old and I had all the energy in the world. The lack of sleep was bad, but didn’t throw me into the zombie-like trance I found myself in constantly when I had my son at 35. I had never felt my age until then. I was fortunate enough to be able to work from home. But, I often found myself feeling a yearning to get out of the house more, see friends, and just feel “normal” (whatever that was). The more I wanted to get out of the house, the more I stayed in the house. It was a cycle I didn’t see ending soon.

Kayak Fishing has always been my husband’s passion.

He had been a trout angler in Colorado and around the time our son was born he started fishing for bass in the California lakes and Delta. I loved seeing how excited he would be coming home from an exceptional day on the water. Soon, however, the occasional kayak fishing outing turned into a once a week excursion. The kayaks he fished from got bigger and better along with his fishing gear. He was meeting new fishing buddies all the time and had story after story about people I didn’t know and a topic I knew nothing about.

I didn’t want to be the wife who told her husband he couldn’t go fishing. I wanted him to know better, read my mind, and just not ask to go, because I didn’t have the heart to say no. What ended up happening? A lot of resentment and anger. I spent more and more time talking to my mom friends about how angry I was with my husband and how unfair life felt. With every passing week I would wait for the dreaded conversation he would begin with, “do we have any plans this weekend?” The conversations with my friends fueled my rage and I fell into a dark, unhappy place.

During my weekly lunch with my dad, I let it all out. I cried, vented, whined, and cried some more. I was jealous of the time away from home my husband had with real-life friends he was making (not that mom group friends aren’t real). My dad asked me a simple question and that question has changed my life. He asked me, “why don’t you try going out with him one of these days?” At first, I thought, “why should he win and kayak fish even more?” Then I realized marriage isn’t a competition. I was dumbfounded and had no response. It had never crossed my mind even though my husband had asked me repeatedly to come with him, given we had two kayaks. I reluctantly told myself to give it a shot and my husband about wet his pants with happiness when I told him I’d like to go.

 

That weekend, we packed up and headed out to a local lake.

He gave me two rods and showed me a thing or two. Then, off I went with our 3-year old in tow. I loved being on the water. It was so peaceful, the sun was shining, and our son was having a blast. After I reeled my first fish in the kayak, I was hooked. My adrenaline was racing and I was grinning from ear to ear. I began screaming for my husband to come see this fish and he pedaled up beaming with as much pride as I was feeling. I wasn’t expecting to feel such a rush. When we got home that night I felt great from being outdoors all day, spending time with my family, and learning something new.

 

Today I go kayak fishing as often as I can.

I have my own fishing kayak and a wall in the garage designated for my fishing gear. I’ve competed in tournaments (and won for biggest fish). I help organize trips for anglers and am active in groups geared toward getting women on the water. Am I telling every wife out there to take up their husband’s hobby? Not at all. But it’s definitely worth giving a shot, because you never know. But I do feel we all need something to focus on, to look forward to, and to learn from. If it happens to be an activity involving the whole family, well, there’s not much more you can ask for.

For more information on getting started with kayak fishing, click here!