Is it really?
The past six months have been quite the doozy if you ask me. I have found that more often than not, I am struggling with the conflicting thoughts in my head. Should I keep my kids home or let them go back to school? Am I hampering their social development if they do virtual education? Would allowing them to go back in the building be opening the floodgate for germs? Should I be afraid to go into Walmart or should I just say screw it? Should I allow visitors to come over or should I just put a big “DO NOT ENTER” sign in my front yard? And with all these thoughts in my own head, I have everyone else telling me what they think I should do. All of those voices add up to one confused and slightly depressed mommy. And guess what, it’s okay to not feel okay right now regardless of what others may say.
I have always been the type that thinks that I need to have my crap together or at least look the part, if nothing else. And as a whole I think I have still managed to display the facade of a mom who has it all under control. But under that no-nonsense, got her proverbial poo together mom, is a woman who is slowly cracking more and more. Being the daughter of a woman who suffers from Bipolar Disorder, I have the sense that I am more self aware than many about my own mental health. That’s not to say that others are ignorant to what’s going on in their heads, I just have a very real fear that I will go down the same road as my mother. So I keep my mental health in check on a regular basis.
Different Times Call For Different Measures
This isn’t any ordinary day, week, month, or year.
Like the theme song to Friends, “no one told you life would be this way”. Anyone with eyes and a functioning cerebrum will tell you that 2020 has been the year that the world stood still at one moment and rallied for change in the next. Each month has seemed to bring its own catastrophic issues and social media has been quick to document it through throngs of memes and gifs. Although your friends on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram may be able to make light of the situation with a quick Jumanji reference, it’s okay for you not to find humor in it.
So what should you do?
When I say it’s okay to not be okay, I’m not saying run off to the edge of the abyss. I’m just saying it’s okay to take your time to navigate this exceptionally crazy world we are living in at the moment. My first piece of advice when attempting to dig yourself back out of the whole of darkness, take time to discover what makes you happy. As any mom, I’m sure, will be quick to say that their family makes them happy, too much of a good thing can also hurt. So when you’ve been quarantined with your one true love and the products of that love, it’s understandable that you might get a touch of cabin fever.
In your quest to find additional sources of happiness that don’t share the same last name as you, maybe try a new hobby or three. Look back at your past, see what might have been different during those times when you truly felt blissful. If there is something that can easily be altered to put you back on your path to joy, change it and don’t feel guilty for making that change. And last, make note of how you are feeling on a regular basis. I’m not saying that you necessarily have to pick up a diary and jot those thoughts down like you were back in 10th grade, but share them with someone you love, whether that’s your spouse, a sibling, a best friend, or even your parent. Things surprisingly have a way of getting better when you let others in on the struggles you are facing.
I looked back on things that made me happy in the past and being organized always helped to keep my nerves calm. So during this time of self reflection, as I like to call it, I’ve tried to get back to meal planning. It is something that I used to swear by. I also made a point to read a few good books over the summer, something else that I used to regularly make time for. I also have allowed myself time to either flip on my radio or blast my Amazon Music. It has been amazing to listen to something that doesn’t belong on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon. Lastly, I stumbled on the fact that I like photography. I am not holding my breath on finding my name in a magazine or art gallery, but it gives me a sense of pride when I take a photo and can see the beauty around me documented for eternity.
My Parting Words of Advice
Regardless of what side of the fence you sit on with any issues from 2020, it is okay to not agree with others and to not feel okay. This is your moment to take a deep breath, really evaluate where you are at and focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what the Jones’ are doing and by all means, don’t agonize over trying to keep up with them. I bet a dollar to a donut, they are just as distressed as you. And absolutely, put zero stock in the image that you see on social media by anyone. Do not judge your happiness or self worth by where they “appear” to be. As I’ve seen too many times, photoshop and a good camera can be very misleading.
Have you noticed changes in your mindset during the past year? What did you find helped you? Drop your thoughts and suggestions in the comments down below.
