“If a woman doesn’t look like a goddess during labor, then someone isn’t treating her right.”
Ina May Gaskin
You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
My plans were all focused on my career and to building a house. I wanted to have kids after the house was built. For Spring Break, I went on a mission trip to Mexico away from my husband. When I came back, I made a tiny accident.
I was tracking myself with a fertility calendar app. I accidentally looked at the wrong week and thought I was safe. But it was a fertile week. It was my error, but I don’t see babies as “mistakes” because I think they are planned by God.
I was raised in a home with a mom who encouraged natural approaches.
Since high school and college, I was interested in natural childbirth and breastfeeding. I majored in child development so I could research more about these topics. My eye was set on a homebirth. My desire was for a calm, comfortable setting. I liked the idea of laboring on my comfy bed, in the shower, or in a warm tub. I trusted that my body was designed for birth.
Only 1% of people give birth at home in the US. Of course people thought I was crazy. Really, I’m not. My husband saw it as being cheaper and more convenient. I saw it as freedom. If I gave birth at home, I would be free to be in any position I wanted, without interruption by nurses. I would be free to be on my own time schedule. I would have complete control over my birth.
The documentary Business of Being Born really opened my eyes to the world of maternity care in the US. The statistics are favorable, too. Home births have a 5.2% cesarean rate and 1% of babies required transfer to a hospital after birth. Keep in mind that home birth is for women who are low risk. It is also for women who want limited to no interventions. If you decide you want pain medicine during birth, you can always transfer to a hospital.
I kept the decision to myself, mostly.
We told very few close family and friends. I kept it away from most of my coworkers, I didn’t want to get judged. I didn’t want to hear horror stories. The decision was mine and I needed to hold my ground.
Fear surrounds birth inside and outside the hospital. The more research I did, though, it seemed like the traumatic experiences were more popular than they should be. In fact, America has one of the highest rates of maternal death in the developed world (and it’s rising). There are countless stories of women’s birthing rights getting trampled on by doctors or nurses.
I did not want to be taken advantage of with nurses asking for epidurals every hour. I didn’t want to be forced to push and end up with a tear. Also, I didn’t want a concoction of synthetic hormones intensifying the pain or impairing my judgement. I did not want a scheduled induction, so the doctor could go on a planned vacation. I wanted to have the baby in a specific way and I didn’t want hospital protocols to infer with my choices. Please understand that these are my opinions, I don’t judge you if you chose a different route with your birth.
I believe it is very important to hire a qualified birth team.
There are two types of midwives in America. There are Certified Nurse Midwives and there are Licensed Midwives. Certified Nurse Midwives, generally, were nurses who became midwives while Licensed Midwives went through a program to become midwives. Both types are equally qualified to deliver babies; however, some states give CNM similar authority as if they were a doctor. Midwives are also trained in well woman checks and well baby checks (up to 6 weeks). My suggestion would be to interview all the midwives in your area and pick the team that you feel most comfortable with. In addition to midwives, you can also hire a doula. A doula is an encouraging individual that can advocate for your needs. Some doulas are trained in massage, essential oils, herbs, and postpartum care. I highly recommend a doula if you are having a hospital birth.
I understand that homebirth is not an option for everyone.
If you still want the homebirth experience, but want a bit more medical intervention just in case, a birthing center could be an option for you. There are birthing centers available attached to hospitals as well as privately run. Also, in order to birth at home and for a midwife to accept you into her practice there are some laws she has to abide by based on the state you live in. There are legalities and midwife preferences about VBACs, blood pressure, gestational diabetes, and other things. If your pregnancy presents a red flag, midwives have to legally terminate care and refer you to an obstetrician. If you pursue a homebirth, the best advice is to be very healthy with diet and exercise to ensure your pregnancy is a healthy one.
However, emergencies happen. They happen to the healthiest women with no symptoms, no precursors. I personally know many people who have had emergencies in their pregnancies. The hospital is the best place for emergency situations, especially preemie babies. When you have a home birth you also make backup plans. There are also laws, depending on the state, that require transfer of care to a hospital.
“There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ, they would brag about it. So should we.”
Ina May Gaskin, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
A lady that that helped me through my pregnancy and after care said, “Women spend years and months planning for a wedding. Why don’t they spend more time planning for their birth?” I prepared by reading books and I did a Hypnobabies Self-Study Course. Now that sounds crazy. Hypnotizing yourself so you don’t feel any pain?? Just look up the videos on youtube. The main premise of this program was to change the way you think about birth. Removing fear and perceiving it differently. My favorite track was the positive birth affirmations. In the beginning, I was unsure and hesitant about my career and not being ready for a baby. Hypnobabies really helped calm me down and remove all anxiety.
My pregnancy was typical and I dealt with my share of issues.
Fatigue, nausea, food aversions, heartburn, varicose veins, leg cramps, achy back, etc. Once I got through month 7, I started enjoying pregnancy. I worked up until 3 days before birth. I was one of the lucky ones and didn’t show until forever! {That’s me at 8 months}
For a first time mom, pregnancy can be anxiety producing. So many hormones rise and fall, and random pains leave you questioning what is going on?! Fortunately, midwifery care is drastically different than typical OB-Gyn care.
I had appointments every month early in the pregnancy. In the second and third trimesters, appointments increased to every two weeks or once a week the closer the guess date became. Depending on midwives, around half of the appointments were located at my house. That is the number one perk. It is hands down amazing to have a medical visit at home. I wish that became a trend for doctors.
Appointments lasted around an hour with lots of discussion on health and what to expect in pregnancy. The midwives took blood pressure at home and listened to the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler. You can be as natural or medically focused as you want with midwives. You choose what blood tests you want to do, you choose if you want ultrasounds, you choose if you want to take the diabetes test. Technically, if you are under OB care, you still have the same choices, but many doctors convince you that you have to do them. Research everything. Learn the risks of everything. Choose what would make you feel better in your pregnancy.
The midwives had a handy dandy website that allowed me to send and receive messages quickly. Every weird question they answered. What do I do for leg cramps? They sent back eat apricots and drink water. What do I do for constipation? They messaged eat prunes. Is it safe to take this? Can I eat this? Most of their responses were natural remedies, but if something was unmanageable certain medicines could be prescribed.
During my pregnancy I continued to exercise.
I did barre class until month 4. I moved to less strenuous exercises such as swimming and walking. Leg cramps were killer and I am so sad I couldn’t do barre exercise on my toes. I also participated in a Dancing for Birth program. I really liked that class because it was very informative and taught you about different birthing positions. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of a chance to do prenatal yoga because they don’t offer it in the area I live in. I also worked 7am-6pm daily, so I was TIRED at the end of the day.
My pregnancy was easy towards the end and honestly I was prepared to go over 40 weeks. However, I didn’t. Labor got a kick start with a spa pedicure on my last day of work. Braxton Hicks contractions were on and off, but I didn’t think my baby would come early.
My mind raced with questions. Was my homebirth going to be one of those 30 hour marathons? Would I handle birth without an epidural? Was I going to have this peaceful, transcendent experience? Would my birth be traumatic? How much pain would I feel? Is the Hypnobabies program going to actually work?
To be continued…
