We seem to forget that there’s a fine line between passion and hate. In most instances, it seems to have disappeared. I see it in my own family. Well-meaning (and even not so well-meaning) words turn into name calling and escalate to hurtful and hateful comments. Simply put, this disappoints me immensely.
I know I can’t protect my child from everything, but I can teach my child right from wrong. I can give my child a simple set of moral and ethical standards to start his life out right and to truly care for his fellow humans. And I can teach my child these few, simple things:
Teaching my child hate is not an option.
Hate. How often do you casually throw around this word? How often do you actually take a second to think about its definition? Yes, I’m guilty too. This has been something I’ve been thinking about for a few years now. I’ve made a conscious effort to not use this word unless I absolutely mean it, and I can’t tell you the last time I’ve used it for it’s defined purpose. I will not have my child throwing around this word like it’s confetti. It is nothing to celebrate.
Teaching my child violence is not an option.
I understand the violence that has followed these protests, but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. A lot of times violence can be a trauma response. Black Americans have had no where near the level of treatment as White Americans have. Think about it.
Teaching my child to not see color is not an option.
This one is well-meaning, but it isn’t what it seems. I feel like a lot of us were raised being taught to not see the color of someone’s skin as a start on the path to equality. If we don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. We need to see that color. If we see their color, we see what they’ve been through. We see the bad, but we also see an amazing culture, heritage, and everything that comes with the color of their skin. And we also see how they deserve so much better.
I am currently teaching, and will continue to teach my child:
- Hate doesn’t get you anywhere.
- Violence and/or anger doesn’t solve problems.
- Appearance doesn’t make us any different from anyone else.
- To leave something better than when you found it.
- To see color. Color is beautiful.
- There is a difference between morals and politics.
These are my non-negotiable parenting guidelines. This is my promise to the universe to leave the world a better place than it was when I found it. We are raising the next generation and we cannot afford to backpedal anymore.
You can follow along with Claire and all her motherhood adventures on Instagram @fromcoffeetocarrots.
