“Oh you’re a therapist? Can you diagnose me? Can you help me with this problem?”
Sure, I probably can but you probably won’t like what I have to say.
When I am not at work and people ask me these ridiculous questions I laugh because I’ll just tell them how it is. I won’t guide you to look at your trauma and history of your problems. I’ll just tell you what I think.
It is actually illegal and unethical to diagnose someone who is not your patient.
So don’t ask.
One of the best examples of this was when my dental hygienist asked me about her friend’s daughter’s best friend that was suicidal. Sure what would you like me to do with that information as you scrape my teeth?
Go find a therapist. Please. Everyone can benefit from therapy.
If you find a therapist and you don’t click with them, find a new one. Therapists are not a one size fits all. Some need a male, some need a female, some therapists specialize in different things like parenting or children.
If you want someone to tell you what to do, that won’t be your therapist. They are more of a guide and help you process things. They challenge your thinking. They make you come to your own conclusions. So go into therapy with that mindset.
Do not expect a change overnight. Therapy is a process not a quick fix.
Put in the work. As a therapist we are always told not to work harder than our clients. If you, as a client, do not show up or do the homework you are assigned – do not expect a change. Therapists see you an hour a week usually. You are with yourself 24 hours a day.
Be honest with your therapist. Give them the full picture. There is no judgement. Trust me, we have heard it all.
Don’t just quit because it gets too hard. Talk about the hardness of it. Help your therapist help you.
Go to therapy. Get the help. There is nothing wrong with it. It is better than the option of living with all these emotions taking up space in your brain.
If you feel like hurting yourself. Please tell someone. Suicide does not have to be the answer. I have been there. My cousin has commited suicide. I don’t wish that on anyone.
As someone who has generalized anxiety and major depression disorder, therapy has saved my life. I was never suicidal but I was not living and enjoying life. I was not the best version of myself.
With my depression and anxiety it was terrible after I had my second child. I was paralyzed. I couldn’t go anywhere. I thought someone would try to kidnap my children when I went out. I spent maternity leave alone with my baby. I did not cook. I did not do one thing for myself. I ate chicken nuggets and chocolate chips for meals. I spent 12 weeks living like this.
I went back to work and I was a rage machine. I was mean and angry and jealous. I was rude. I was not a good person at the time. I was pumping 5 times a day which contributed to my stress, too. I didn’t want to go with my family get togethers. I was angry with my babies. I threatened to leave and just take them to grandma’s. I was detached but overly protective. Who can reason with the postpartum brain?
Finally when my girl turned one I started a popular weight loss program. Then I started a boot camp. A few months later I was a little better physically but mentally I was a mess.
I put in the work. I was ridiculously embarrassed to seek help for myself. It was so easy for me to tell other people to go to therapy and to help others, but I thought since I was a therapist I was fine. Well surgeons do not operate on themselves. So I went to a psychiatrist and I can say Lexapro was a game changer for me.
Now, I see a therapist.
I’ve titrated down to once a month because I have a handle on my anxiety. I do things for me. I stopped playing the martyr and putting myself last. I put myself first. If I am not at my best my family does not get my best.
If you need immediate help please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Your story is not over;
To learn more about Mental Illness visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
To find a therapist, call your insurance or look here.
