When I look back at my childhood some of my fondest memories center around my parents’ social life. I have incredible memories of them hosting their friends at our house. They would have game night, Trivial Pursuit night, sit around the piano and sing night, and even “let’s sample all of the frozen yogurt in town” night. I loved the fact that our house was always full of people. The parents would be in the front of the house and the kids all got to play and watch movies in the back of the house. This usually resulted in the kids begging to have a sleepover to ensure the fun never stopped.
Fast-forward 30 years and I found myself so exhausted by the end of the day from parenting, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and work, that there wasn’t much time left for hosting fun nights, or even having friends for that matter. Who needed real-life friends anyway? I had my mom-group friends and if there was a problem, they could solve it. One of the greatest friendships of my life developed from this group. We can call her, Bessica. I talked to ‘Bessica’ more times a day than I did anyone on the planet. I considered our FB messenger chat as one LONG conversation that had lasted 4 years. She had become my family. Other mom’s in the group served their purpose as well. If I needed to laugh I could message ‘Balex’, if I needed serious advice I could reach out to ‘Bulie’. These were the greatest friends of all time (please no one reference GOAThere as it’s the lamest acronym on the planet).
I felt fulfilled in the friendship zone, but realized that my kids weren’t seeing me actually interact with friends. How could they know how to be a good friend if they didn’t’ have examples right in front of them? Having them see this meant that I had to actually hang out with people. YIKES! But I wanted this for them. I wanted them to have the types of memories I cherish. So I dove in head first.
It started with a few bbq’s here and there. I branched out of my comfort zone and started becoming friends with the wives and girlfriends (he will marry you one day Brittany!) of my husband’s friends. We started chatting daily and the friendships blossomed. Many of the women I met were just like me and I was happy to hear we griped and laughed about the same stuff. We started having friends over for dinners and game nights, then branched out to vacationing together and camping trips. My son soon had more friends than he knew what to do with and considered our friends his “aunts and uncles”. His face would light up knowing people were coming over and would always ask if they were bringing their kids along too.
At least 2-weekends a month we are either at a friend’s house, camping with friends, or they’re at our house. I love watching the kids come up with games to play and entertain each other as the adults cook food and talk about the happenings of the day. The kids might run up for a quick hug or in need of food or beverage, but for the most part it’s a full on party for the kids. At the end of the evening I love nothing more than the group chorus of “nooooooooo” when it’s time to head home.
I truly believe that family is more than just the people you’re related to through DNA. Our friends (for the most part) are ride or die friends. They’d give you the shirt off their back (sometimes literally and it’s not always pretty) and drop anything at a moment’s notice to help you. Having friends in real life shows my kids how to care for others, help others, and establish healthy relationships. Would I rather be on my couch watching Shameless on the weekend? Probably. But stepping out of my comfort zone and building lasting friendships is something my DVR simply can’t replace.
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