Exclusive Pumping: Because Fed is Best

Are you going to breastfeed? You’re going to breastfeed, right? Breast is best. Breast milk is better for the baby than formula. Oh, you’re using formula (insert eeek face here). 

Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding. 

When you have a baby, this is one of the most asked questions, talked about topics, and points of contention. New moms or second, third, and so on moms are practically harassed before they even have their baby about how they plan on feeding their child. As if it’s anyone’s business, but it seems there’s no right answer depending on who’s asking. 

How’s breastfeeding going? 

Are you producing enough milk? 

Is he/she latching okay? 

Do they have a tongue tie? 

Are they getting the hindmilk?

They need the hindmilk.

The questions don’t stop once you start breastfeeding either. Everyone is way too interested in your lactation. However, do they think maybe all the questions are not helping you at all?

What if you were to say… “Actually, breastfeeding is going awful. I don’t think I’m producing enough milk. He’s not gaining weight. I think he might have a tongue tie and it’s affecting his latch. He’s not staying on the breast enough to get to the damn hindmilk.” *Cue pulling out hair.*

Newborn moms have enough on their plate to have to explain this every time someone asks. For instance, I had an awful experience breastfeeding with my first son, however, I attribute that to inexperience, going back to work at 6 weeks postpartum (with no space to pump except on a train), and being completely turned off by the lactation consultants at the hospital. The answer above is basically what I would have said to all of those questions. 

I was frustrated. I was worried. I turned to formula to help. And I’m okay with that. 

For my second son, I wanted to be more educated on breastfeeding and give it a good try. I wasn’t going to stress over it though. I told myself, if it was getting stressful, I’d go to formula. 

I did an online course through milkology.com to learn and refresh myself on breastfeeding. In the hospital, I still felt overwhelmed by the lactation consultants but let them provide education and accepted their help. I got home and continued to breastfeed for the first two weeks. I ended up having to pump at one point in the first 3 weeks and thought, hmmm, this is convenient. 

This is when it hit me. I hate breastfeeding. 

Yes, I said it and I’m prepared to be mommy shamed for it. Even though it’s sad that is even a possibility. I wanted to provide my son with the nourishment of breast milk, but the stress of breastfeeding is not worth it to me. 

Why do I hate breastfeeding, you ask? It’s all about the unknowns. The biggest one being, how much is he actually getting? And is he getting the right stuff? (the hindmilk)

I wasn’t that person who was overcome with joy to breastfeed. I felt more like an exhausted cow, moving my baby from breast to breast in hopes that he was getting what he needed. I did stare at my baby in awe in those late night hours, but not because he was breastfeeding. I felt just as much of a connection regardless of how he was being fed. 

Onto present day, I’m now exclusive pumping with my second son. Why didn’t I think of this before? I can control the timing, the amount of breast milk he is taking in and can even have my husband help in feeding him. That also means I can sleep and have some help during those late nights. 

Why don’t we hear more about people exclusive pumping?

It seems to me that it’s either feeding from the breast or formula, and that’s it. I’ll do a mic drop here and put that breast milk in a bottle. Boom. He gets the nourishment of breast milk but from a bottle. 

Exclusive pumping is not an easy task either. Sometimes it feels like you’re doing double the work because you are pumping and then feeding. With breastfeeding, you are essentially doing this at the same time. For me, I prefer pumping because of those unknowns. I prefer to know how many ounces he’s eating and if he is getting the fatty hindmilk that he needs to gain weight. I prefer involving my partner in his feeding, so it’s not solely resting on my shoulders. That feeling of being the only one who could feed him led to stress before. I like being able to say, he ate 4 ounces at this time and there are 200 ounces in the freezer if anything ever happens. Exclusive pumping works for me and I wish I had tried it with my firstborn.

Are you an exclusive pumper? What are some tips you have for new moms trying to make the decision of pumping or breastfeeding?