Creating Holiday Traditions for your Family

This Christmas, we found ourselves 300+ miles from our family and friends and the only area we’ve ever (until this year) called home. It was a conscious decision we’d made in the summer; shortly after having moved to Vermont. We wanted our kids to wake up on Christmas morning in their own home. I wanted no part of having to load (while simultaneously hiding) presents in a car for a six-hour drive. I definitely did not want to field confused questions about how Santa would find us. But, most of all, it just felt like too much upheaval.

We’d had our fair share of upheaval this past year. Since January, we’d lived in four places. First, our old house, then 6 weeks of bouncing between my parent’s house an apartment in VT, and then finally, we made settlement on our new home in Vermont. When our kids overhear a passing mention of “moving” or a “new house”, we are promptly assaulted with a chorus of whines and screams begging us not to move again. My kids are true troopers. They are 3 and 5 and have already lived in three different homes. They could start their own moving and packing business. But, I digress.

So, the decision was made and the information was filtered out to our families. We would be staying in Vermont for Christmas. The boys and I would come back to NJ for a visit the week between Christmas and New Years. And anyone who wanted to come up for the actual holiday was more than welcomed. And then we waited.

By Thanksgiving, it was clear that we would have no visitors. It would just be the four of us for Christmas Eve and Christmas. The idea was, at first exciting, but then overwhelming. What would we do? Anything really. It was up to us to decide.

Prior to this year, we’d had our Christmas celebrations down to a science.Luckily, both my husband’s and my parents are still together, so we’ve never had to deal with the “4 Christmases” thing. And, once we had kids, we decided that we would not run around to see everyone each day. We would visit with one of our families on Christmas Eve and the other family on Christmas Day. And, even more luckily, my family always had a larger gathering on Christmas Eve and my husband’s family always had a large dinner on Christmas Day.

So our schedule typically looked like this: on Christmas Eve, Mike usually worked until mid-afternoon. We’d hit mass at 4 pm and then head to my family’s Christmas Eve party. We’d visit with my entire extended family and then at the end of the night, we’d exchange gifts with my immediate family. We’d head home and get the kids to bed. Christmas morning, the kids would wake up and open presents. We welcomed any grandparents who wanted to visit and experience the chaos. We laid around in jammies and played with toys all day. Then, around 4 pm we would head to Mike’s parents’ for dinner and to exchange gifts with them. It was smooth and predictable. We knew exactly what to expect right down to the queso dip on Christmas Eve.

This year, however, we were starting from scratch and we both had some assumptions that were unexpected to the other. We knew we couldn’t recreate the large gatherings of our adult years, so we started discussing how we celebrated as kids. For my family, Christmas Eve was always a much bigger deal than Christmas Day. My parents often hosted the large Christmas Eve party so there were many years when we didn’t go out at all on Christmas Day, we just stayed in and ate leftovers. We also were used to Christmas Eve mass and watching “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” at the end of the night. Growing up, Mike remembered the big traditional Christmas dinner. When we got to talking, I assumed I’d make a big Italian dinner on Christmas Eve (maybe lasagna) and we’d eat leftovers on Christmas Day. Mike expected a turkey and all the fixings on Christmas Day. A compromise would need to be made.

Ultimately, we settled on having appetizers in the afternoon on Christmas Eve (traditional “Christmas Eve queso” included!). Our boys participated in the Children’s Mass at our church. Luke was Joseph and Liam was the cutest little “Wise Guy” (as he called it) I ever did see. After mass, we went home, changed the boys into Christmas pajamas, ate pie, and then watched “A Christmas Story”. In the morning (our boys actually slept in past 8:30 am!!!!) we opened presents and hung out in our jammies. In the afternoon, Mike and the boys went sledding while I roasted a whole chicken, made gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and maple glazed carrots. We made lots of jokes about my using wedding shower gifts (like my gravy boat, china serving bowls, and roasting pan) for the first time. So, shout out if you gifted any of those to us. Eight years later, we finally used them!

It was literally the most perfect small town Vermont Christmas, right down to the pristine snow cover when we woke up in the morning (upon seeing the snow out of his bedroom window, Liam exclaimed “it’s just like in the movie!”). I’m already excited about next Christmas! Hopefully, the traditions we’ve created this year will be carried on for years and remembered by our sons into their adulthood. And maybe, just maybe we’ll have some company to share our new traditions with next year.