“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough.”
– Melodie Beatty
I recently got into a fight with my mother in-law. It was nasty. I was nasty. We both said mean things. In the middle of the worst, she got in a dig and along with it stated that I was ungrateful and never satisfied. It stung. I have always tried to be a grateful person, and I love my life. Obviously I’m content.
True or not her comments got under my skin. I’ve been thinking about them for several days (thank you anxiety). I’m not sure why, exactly, they got to me but it made me take a good hard look at myself. It made me realize that while I am grateful and I am happy with my life, I could definitely improve my gratefulness and contentment game.
I am not a completely ungrateful mess, but there are definitely times when I forget my blessings and focus on the things that I do not already have.
This year, I want to work toward being happy, no matter what I don’t have.
I don’t need a new car. I don’t need a different house. I don’t need to send my kids to a fancier school than what they already attend. My car runs well and carries us where we need to go. My house is a cute little house that keeps us warm and dry. We have heat, electricity and water in our home. My kids are getting a quality education as is. These are things that society keeps telling me that I won’t be happy unless I go above my means and seek them out.
When I was a child, the adults in my life did an excellent job of teaching me how to be grateful. This has spilled over into my adult life. I am grateful for the family that my husband and I have built. I am grateful to be a stay-at-home mother. I am grateful that I am able to attend college fulltime in addition to all of my wife and mother duties.
The problem is, nobody taught me how to be content with the things that I have.
This year I am choosing to savor my life experiences. Instead of wishing for a bigger vacation in a foreign land, I am simply going to enjoy my time with my family wherever I end up with them. When I am frustrated with my children for being too whiny and clingy I want to be more mindful of the fact that they are only small for a short while. I want to be in the moment and enjoy the extra snuggles that I know I will miss in a few years.
As a person that struggles daily with anxiety, I want to focus more on the positives in my life. It’s so easy to get caught in the negativity trap. I naturally gravitate towards focusing on the negatives at times. I get hung up on focusing on my disappointment with other people or circumstances beyond my control. I am hoping that with focusing more on gratefulness and contentment I will be a little happier in general.
My daughter was hospitalized for two weeks last month. She was in the PICU and could have died. It was obviously traumatic and stressful. When you’re living the hospital life there are plenty of long hours to be fearful, worry and wish for other circumstances. While I was there with Lila, my huge support system at home was making sure that my children were well taken care of while I was away. They made sure that my husband and kids had good food to eat so there was one less thing for our family to worry about. They banded together and made sure that we had gas money, that we would be able to pay our bills, and that our children had a fantastic Christmas. Their outpouring of love and support was what got me through those dark hours. Their love, kindness and generosity truly uplifted our family.
So, from now on when times get tough, that spirit of love during times of adversity is what I am choosing to focus on.
Gratitude and contentment are more than just a mindset. They can positively impact your health, happiness and our relationships with other people. When we feel grateful and content, and actively practice them in our lives we are creating our own joy.
How will you embrace gratefulness and contentment in the new year?
