Since my daughter has been in our lives, the holiday season, particularly Christmas, just hasn’t given me that festive feeling of holiday cheer. I thought, maybe, it was because I was missing the things that made Christmas “Christmas” for me growing up – being with my parents and siblings, opening gifts late on Christmas Eve night, pierogies and green Christmas tree shaped press cookies. In fact, I think I have had a bit of the holiday blues for quite awhile now without even realizing why and just brushing it off as something that happens in adulthood. Holidays just aren’t as magical anymore.
Just recently, I’ve come to realize that as the years have passed it wasn’t the holidays that were changing, it was me. While in the past I could easily get wrapped up in and enjoy the search for the perfect gift for someone or the go, go, go of the season – holiday parties, cookie baking until 2am, the running from place to place to make sure you see everyone you love.
It’s no longer my thing.
My husband and I have spent the last seven holiday seasons together and no season has looked the same. Our first year together, we flew from Colorado to New Jersey to spend the holidays with my family. Our daughter’s first Christmas we spent in Texas with my husband’s family. Last year, we spent it in Alabama with my father-in-law.
We didn’t plan it this way. And, I can’t even blame it on our nomadic tendencies. It has been this way because we’ve tried to appease our families who live in different parts of the country, giving in to their requests to join them for the holidays because that felt like what we were supposed to do. At times it even felt like what we wanted to do. But the reality is all that hustle and bustle, celebrating the holidays how other people want to celebrate them, the focus on and loads of gifts… that’s just not us anymore.
It’s not because I have turned into The Grinch or I’m all “bah humbug” it’s Christmas. Quite the opposite actually. I love Christmas, but in order to really enjoy Christmas I need to re-invent it for myself and for my family in a way that lines up with our values.
We need to find our own traditions. We need to choose us.
So this year we are staying “home” in our little cabin in the woods and will celebrate with just the three of us. Although we, as a family, have thrived on adventure and change we also thrive on a rhythm and seasonality to life. We thrive on simple and slow, connection and experiences.
We will decorate a tree with ornaments we’ve collected from the places we’ve traveled remembering adventures of the past.
We will listen to holiday music on the record player and have family dance parties.
We will dry some oranges to make garland and make Christmas cards to send to family and friends.
We will go to a Gingerbread House exhibit and maybe build one of our own.
We will eat pierogies and exchange books on Christmas Eve.
We will spend a slow Christmas Day opening up a few gifts, playing games, doing puzzles and maybe going on a hike together.
We will slow down, connect and truly be ourselves. It might not be what other people think we should do or be the same every year; but it will be the start of a new holiday tradition. The tradition of choosing us and I have a feeling we will enjoy every second of it.
