Ever feel like you are stuck in a mommy rut? I know, I sure did, for my son’s first 3ish, or so, years. It’s something I like to call it, “The New Mom Fog”. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t quite see out of it. The idea of making any major changes or strides in improving my mental health wasn’t even on my radar. But, I knew I needed to do something to feel more myself; to get a little piece of myself back.
So, what small things can we do, while we are living in “The Fog”, to improve our moods and the quality of our days? The little things you do to better yourself and your mindset will make a world of difference in your day-to-day.
Here are seven simple things you can do today to live your best mama life:
1. Read the newspaper each morning (or theSkimm, you do you).
Lately, my favorite time of day has been the morning (when at least one kid is still sleeping) and I’m on our front porch, reading the paper with my freshly brewed Americano.
I know, I know, reading the paper is likely to raise your blood pressure these days; how can that help you to live a better life? High blood pressure won’t, but finding your passion will.
Being educated on and aware of important issues and events in your community, region, country, and the world is invaluable to goal setting and ultimately living your best life.
2. Get outside!
Pretty cliche- I know, but seriously, there is a lot to be said for the great outdoors. Take in some deep breaths of that fresh air and get out there! Whether you hike, ski, surf, swim, bike, or just roll in the grass with your kids; there is nothing like the feeling of the sun on your skin and a cool breeze in your hair!
If you don’t know where to get started, check this out.
3. Join an online (or local) book club.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads”.
You can always benefit from expanding your mind; through fiction, biographies, or the writings of great thinkers, past and present. Plus, there’s usually wine and snacks!
Apparently, it’s a thing these days for famous people to have their own book clubs. Most of the famous “Emma’s” do, anyway.
You can join Emma Watson’s book club here or join Emma Robert’s book club here. Hell, I’ll bet Oprah’s still got one, too.
If in-person is more your thing, I suggest you check your local library. If they don’t have a book club; they will at least have a new release shelf and likely a shelf of books that come highly recommend (be sure to check out the classics, though, too).
If you need help finding your local public library, check here (or, like, just google it).
4. Meditate or pray (whichever is your thing)
Morning is a great time to meditate or pray. Start your day in a positive mind frame. Maybe you could take a five-minute mid-day break to reflect on your morning and think of the things for which you are thankful. You could try to hit a yoga class in the evening after work. Or, say a prayer when your head hits the pillow at night.
Prayer is my thing. Particularly, at night. When I am laying in bed and my eyes are beginning to close; I hit up the Big Man (or Woman) to praise, thank, and ask. But mostly to review my day in hopes of making each subsequent day better.
I use the Reimagining the Examen app to guide my own nightly prayers. You can learn more about it here.
And I also love Loyola Press’ 3 Minute Retreats when I need a little extra boost (also available in app format).
If meditating is your thing, have you tried yoga on a farm or at a winery, yet? Both are getting quite popular; as is yoga while on SUP.
Looking for a yoga class near you? There are apps for that, too. Find out more about yoga finding apps, here.
If quiet meditation has piqued your interest, check out this book. It’s great for beginners as well as longtime practitioners.
5. Positive Thinking.
To quote Poppy from Trolls (because I hear her voice in my dreams… or should I say nightmares):
“There’s always a bright side!”
I firmly believe that every situation is what you make of it. Are you a glass half full or half empty kind of person? If you get stuck in a traffic jam, do you say, “Just my luck, stuck in traffic again” or do you say, “Thank goodness it wasn’t my car in that accident”. If things just keep going wrong in your day; you spilled coffee on your brand new shirt, you slipped on a wet floor, you were late to work, your kid had a blowout and you forgot to pack wipes… do you get engulfed in rage or do you laugh at the irony? I am perpetually annoying my husband because when we get lost, I simply laugh.
Here’s the thing, there is always SOMETHING to be thankful for. There is ALWAYS some good. Find it. Focus on it. Let the negative fall by the wayside. Rise above.
Decide to see the bright side.
6. Make a conscious effort to see things from others’ perspective.
If you do this, you will find yourself more understanding, slower to anger, and less judgmental. About four years ago, I made a conscious effort to do this and I’ve stuck with it. I can say, with 100% honesty, that no simple change has made as big an impact on the overall quality of my life. It has made me more empathetic and being more empathetic has made me a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and educator.
Recently, Ryan Reynolds was quoted as saying the following of his wife, Blake Lively, “She always responds with empathy. She meets anger with empathy. She meets hate with empathy. She’ll take the time to imagine what happened to a person when they were 5 or 6 years old. And she’s made me a more empathetic person”. So, what I’m saying is, if you do this, Ryan Reynolds will love you, too. Well, not quite, but those closest to you will definitely notice and the tone of your relationships will improve.
When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider their feelings and thoughts before reacting; you won’t just make your life better, it will improve the lives of all of those with whom you interact.
7. Make time for the people who make you happy.
Whether it’s your significant other, your girl tribe, your kiddos, or your barista… if you’re not spending time with the people who make you happy, you’re not as happy as you could be. Simple.
