I recently saw something online that talked about how the “cool” thing right now is to be an introvert. As a true, lifelong introvert, I’m here to tell you, it’s not. And my husband is not. If you looked up “extrovert” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of my husband. This is the biggest area of our lives where we are complete opposites from each other. I’m often asked to accompany him to events when we have a babysitter lined up and I do actually like going. When we get there my social anxiety takes over (no matter how much I don’t want it to) while I scan the room. Looking around, my brain processes so many things, among them, who is here, what type of event this is, and what can I expect to happen while we are here.
Sometimes after these events or a particularly busy weekend, I’ll say I need a break. He just doesn’t understand, but that’s okay. We work through it. My brain is processing everything that happened, even if it isn’t much and we had a great time. I just need the calm and silence for a moment to collect my thoughts. I call this the “introvert hangover.”
Here are some of my favorite self-care tips to decompress when I’ve had too much:
1.Learn a new hobby or craft.
This one sounds easier than it actually is, right? I took up macramé a month or so ago. Why macramé? I’m not sure. For some reason, I really wanted to learn something new and macramé was the first thing that came to mind. To be honest with you, I haven’t worked with it as much as I’d like because of other things going on, but it is something I look forward to when I do get to work on it.
2.Check out a new book.
Very few things simultaneously pump me up, calm my nerves and fill my soul like a good personal development type book. For me, these can be anything from Marie Kondo to some odd instructional book about backyard farming. I’m not a fiction fan, but non-fiction is where my heart is at.
3.Send the rest of the family off to do something fun.
Go grab a gift certificate for the movie theater, the children’s museum, or something fun your kids like to do (and that dad or whoever goes with them doesn’t mind either!) and surprise them with it when you need a break.
4.Work out or get active.
Movement can do your body and your mind good. I’m not saying to go out and run a marathon, I’m saying just listen to your body and go with the flow. If you want to swim 100 meters, do it. If you want to hit up a local Barre class, do it… but maybe one that’s not crowded and overwhelming. My personal favorite is a series of simple yoga stretches followed by a nice, long savasana.
5.Make a non-negotiable.
Do something you want to do. You can take a quiet bath with your favorite bath bomb in an essential oil filled room while reading your new book if you want. Do this once a month (or however often you wish). Get with your husband, mom or babysitter to get them to take the kids for one night a month. Heck, get with a friend and offer to watch each other’s children while you both get your relaxation time.
6.Cross something off of your to-do list.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always had a mental list of things that aren’t really important enough that they need to be done now, but things that it would be nice if they were done. Go cross something off of that list and come back and tell me how good it feels to have that done.
7.Get away for the weekend.
Right before our son turned 2, my husband surprised me with a weekend getaway and he was staying back with our son. I was nervous because this was going to be the first time I would be away from our son overnight and I knew he was at a super busy point with his business, so I kept trying to push it off. He basically demanded I go. I drove out of town and arrived at my hotel to find he already booked me a spa appointment. The only thing that accompanied me to my wine and sushi dinner that night was the book I was reading. At that point in my life, it was exactly what I needed. Now I can’t wait for the trip I’m taking this month with some close friends from my side hustle.
8.Get some sleep.
Like a new hobby, this one also sounds easier than it really is. I get it. We’re all moms to busy children. You might not think of sleep or a nap as self-care, but it is. Your body needs rest, girl!
9.Learn to delegate.
This is probably the hardest for me personally. I have never liked asking for help in any part of my life. But I’m working on it and getting better. We recently changed our son’s bedtime routine to where my husband is more involved, which lets me work on other things before I go in to finish bedtime. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment while my husband enjoys more one-on-one time with our son.
10.Use a journal.
I looked at a lot of journals that tell you what to write or give you questions to answer. I never found one that really spoke to me. So I made my own. I bought a blank journal, took some advice from some of my favorite authors, Gabrielle Bernstein and Rachel Hollis, and made a journal that fit exactly what I wanted it to. In my journal I have a weekly theme, dreams and goals I’m working on, things I am grateful for and a spot for any other thoughts that come to mind that particular day. I organized it how it would best work for me, and I complete half in the morning, if time allows, and the rest before I go to bed.
From one mom to another, learn to take a break and learn to care for yourself. I know I personally struggle in many areas of my life if I don’t take a moment for myself, even if it is just ten minutes. I hope these tips help you get over your introvert hangover, too.
You can follow along with Claire and all her motherhood adventures on Instagram @daytodayclaire.
